At the bakery last night, my co-worker saw the very strange number of bagels requested. They were strange because they weren't multiples of 6 or 12, which is what we normally see: 18 sesame bagels, 24 everything bagels, you get the idea. He commented on the bizarre numbers, calling the people who put the order together 'retards'. I can't say whether or not I'm overly sensitive, but I did have an internal debate before telling him that the noun 'retard' bothers me because my son has Down syndrome. Maybe I shouldn't have used my son as an excuse for being offended; maybe I should have been able to say plainly, "That's really not okay with me." As it is, I still feel a little guilty for saying anything because I know he didn't mean offense and he probably doesn't feel like he can be relaxed around me. oh well.
In any case, it made me think of an episode of "What Would You Do?" from this past May (Season 4 Episode 3). This is a hidden camera show where they set up unfair or offensive situations and see who is willing to step in and help, or rescue someone. One of the situations is at a grocery store where a bagger with Down syndrome is being verbally abused by a variety of customers in the check-out line. The people being abusive and the bagger are all actors, but it is still a little hard to watch, for me anyway. It is also so inspiring to see yet another young adult with Down syndrome who is articulate and capable. Check it out. Let me know what you would do.
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I found your blog from the dearest place in Brooklyn. I have a brother who is developmentally disabled. He does not have Down's syndrome, but has often been made fun of with the "r-word". I've always hated it when people said that word and sometimes I have the courage to say something. Sometimes I don't. Thank you for telling the person who you heard say it that it bothered you. I know most people aren't actually referring to a mentally handicapped person when they say this word. But, I find it offensive and don't think there's anything wrong with telling people it bothers you. When I first started dating my husband, he used the "r-word". I told him that I could never be with someone who used that word. He hasn't used it since. I'm glad I said something.
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